I Pity the Fool!

I loved Mr. T back in the day, my brother and I used to watch a lot of The A-Team. He wanted to be Murdoch and I wanted to be Mr. T- those gold chains baby!!! Plus he could breakdance like nobodies business and his catch phrase was amazing: I Pity the Fool!! You knew he was not messing around when he threw out that phrase, he was serious- he really pitied those fools!!

This weekend, as I was flipping between Football and Flashdance (whoa, hyperbole of my persona right there...) when I was supposed to be studying- I realized I was currently attending my own personal pity party. And I was the only guest. And the party sucked. Shoot, when did I RSVP to this shitty party? I don't want to be here, I want to leave. So I surveyed my weekend: maybe I agreed to this party when I was drinking gin alone in my living room on Friday night watching yet another Ryan Gosling movie. Or maybe it was when I woke up on Sunday morning and was not in my own bed. Then I had to do what I will now refer to as the "Walk of Pity", let's cause a revolution and throw out "Walk of Shame"!! Do you really feel shameful? Who even uses that term anymore? I am so ashamed, wah wah wah. No one actually talks like that.  But "Walk of Pity", that is something the people could get behind. You are wearing your clothes/make-up from the night before and people see you on the street and mumble: "gurrrrrl, where you been?" and shake their head. That is pity right there. You know they do not want to be in your shoes and you cannot wait to take off said skanky shoes from the night before. And that is when you buy a giant coffee and a bacon, egg and cheese and go home to put on your party hat.

I have reached an age where I get looks from family members, friends, co-workers, fellow students and as above, sometimes total strangers. This is a look I can only interpret as pity. It is the head tilted to the side, eyes looking all concerned, a sad smirk and is often accompied with some generic positive statement such as: He's out there looking for you, just like you are looking for him!!! Shut the hell up, this whole thing is an act of pity and drives me insane. Just because I am out alone on a Saturday night drinking $3 PBR's to the face doesn't mean you should feel sorry for me. Just because I am at your wedding alone and cried in the bathroom for the first half hour does not mean you should pity me. Just because I am not married, don't have a fiance, a boyfriend or am not even dating anyone does that give you the right to look at me that way. I find it offensive. I have chosen this life, I have voluntarily wandered down this path. I am FINE!! I may not be AMAZING like you say you are with your husband, house, 2.3 kids and annoying dog. But, at least I am honest and yes, I am fine. So stop looking at me like you can see my ovaries drying up in front of your eyes.

I am the only person that can make myself leave this pity party, so get me out of here!!! I don't want Mr. T to show up, drop his catch phrase on me and then kick my ass. And because I need a little motivation to leave this party, I give you the namesake for this blog: